Why Do Husbands Change After Having A Baby (5+ Reasons You May Not Know)

by | Feb 3, 2022

Why Do Husbands Change After Having A Baby
This is a major concern “Why do husbands change after having a baby?” Any woman who is in love with her husband will like to know.

Basically, the relationship with husband after the baby can change because of an increase in their family size which is caused by the birth of a new baby.

Researchers have shown that couples are less happy when they welcome a newborn, but there are practical things you can do to reorient your relationship after parenthood but do not think like your partner does not love you anymore.

In this article, we will discuss some particular topics, the ways marriage changes after a baby, and what you can do to keep your marriage strong.

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Do Husbands Change After Having A Baby?

Like death it is inevitable, and also change is a constant factor in the world, there could be a negative change and sometimes there could be a positive change.

Remember that the size of the family changes when a new baby is born, the dieting, schedule, and routine of the family changes.

The presence of a newborn baby can make the parents adapt to the new situation.

This change will not affect or threaten the love you and your husband shared, all hands must be on deck to make sure that the presence of your baby does not occur a rift between the two of you after the birth of the newborn.

Related: Sex During Pregnancy: 11 Reasons Why You Make Love Everyday

25 Ways Marriage Changes After Having A Baby

There tends to be fatigue and tiredness most especially on the side of the new mom, after the birth of a baby and this could be as a result of sleep deprivation while tending to the needs of the baby.

As the sleep-deprived parent becomes restless and easily irritated, all this stuff could cause tension and issues in the marriage. Here are various ways marriage changes after a baby arrives:

  1. Unfortunately, your partner won’t be your number one anymore because he’ll be a very strong number two! Just for the meantime, anyway.
  2. You may consider divorcing your partner when he complains about ‘babysitting’ while looking after his baby.
  3. You will be ultra-sensitive to every comment your husband makes, while your body hormones return to normal. Whilst implying you are an unfit mother when you may feel he is body shaming you a hundred times a day, he isn’t.
  4. You’ll intentionally throw down a bottle of water, just to wake up your husband during night feeds and ask that he gets you a drink. Any idea How can he get all the sleep? 
  5. This may probably make you feel frustrated when at times you’ll feel like your husband is doing everything wrong.
  6. When he returns home from a stressful day at the office you’ll find it much more difficult to feign sympathy for your husband. Besides, it’s not as if someone was sick in his mouth.
  7. For the moment you will feel like you’ve won the lottery when your baby poops in his diaper just as your husband comes in from work.
  8. Both of you will feel like you are doing absolutely everything around the house. You or your partner may start keeping track of who has done more nappy changes. Write down the knowledge for your next argument.
  9. Why doesn’t your husband leap upstairs to check for kidnappers each time there is noise over the baby monitor? you are confused but who knows, it could be that the cat has entered your baby’s room. You never know!
  10. Your partner says, What would a kidnapper be looking for in the nursery? That is why he will think that you are overreacting about this parenting thing.
  11. Not having to deal with body changes during pregnancy you will be jealous of your husband. During bedtime in underwear that covers every possible stretch mark as you lie next to him, and belly fats you will envy him for having the same body he had two years ago.
  12. Especially for midnight feeds, at least a small part of you will be jealous that your husband does not have a breast.
  13. When someone asked you how many times a week you have sex these days, you will answer that, “What, every week?!”
  14. No time for foreplay and lovemaking like you did on your honeymoon when you do manage to have sex with your partner. This period of time also will be quick, quiet, and probably end abruptly at the sound of screaming over the baby monitor
  15. Most of your disagreements now revolve around deciding who is the most tired because your matrimonial bed is no longer a place of romance, cuddle or sleep, for that matter.
  16. While you spend your maternity leave wiping vomit, snot, sickening off your breasts, and washing baby clothes, Sometimes, you’ll envy your husband heading off for work.
  17. Especially when your baby is involved, this will cause all sorts of problems, you will realize you guys don’t agree on everything.
  18. Firstly, Please seek professional counseling if it becomes an ongoing or serious problem) because as much as you want to, often you will be too tired to put in the effort for your relationship (but this should be only temporary).
  19. Your husband may compliment you more easily, but for that, you just have to be wearing a top without getting sick on to be told you look nice and wash your hair properly and you’ll probably leave him lost for words.
  20. At the end of the day, your couple time will be more fun and cheerful than ever, but you’ll probably spend it with at least one of you passed out on the couch.

Why Do Husbands Change After Having A Baby?

While biologically men are not gifted with babysitting, by nature, women are conditioned to show care and babysit but this is not an excuse for complete abandonment of the babysitting duties to the wife.

Moreover, it is no longer news that some men change after the arrival of their babies because there are a lot of other reasons why husbands change after having a baby and they include:

1.Some Of Men Feel Sidelined and Abandoned:

It is totally normal for a woman to be carried away with the parenting duty and tending to her baby, during this she may not remember that her husband has needed to be met, and that is why most men tend to change when these happen.

“Our challenges came from not having the time and attention for each other as we did before,” she says, According to lilmama514.

So each time he comes home because my husband travels for a living, it is obvious he would want 100 percent of my attention, but he had to wait or end up trying to talk over a crying child and, now, chatty baby. That was really hard for both of us.

2.Sexual Needs:

Man is a sexual being, heavy process after the arrival of a baby and the aftercare takes a lot on the woman. Usually, before having sex a woman has to wait for about six weeks after giving birth.

To be honest, when you get permission from your doctor, you may not feel ready to do it yet because your body has been through a lot.

Meanwhile, you may not be ready to satisfy your husband’s sexual needs, the partner may start exhibiting some characteristics that could affect the marriage.

3. Helplessness and Frustrations:

For the man, it can be a huge thing emotionally becoming a new dad. No doubt sometimes it can be frustrating and one feels helpless. Sometimes it causes changes in the behavior of the husband because men are not conditioned for this, as there may be a plethora of arguments and a tendency to avoid negotiations so that it doesn’t end up in an argument.

4.High Level Of Expectations:

Men still have a high list of expectations and demands from their wives and they don’t understand that there is an extra parenting job on the part of their wives and when these expectations are not met, they tend to start changing gradually though sometimes unconsciously.

5.Money Matters:

Well, she said that “I had always worked and made more money than my husband,” Then, I took some time off to stay home and finish my degree after our baby arrived, According to Lauren Newman.

I felt guilty because we were paying for childcare, and I wasn’t bringing anything to the table and thought I should take on most of the housework which meant I wasn’t writing and Jim got annoyed.

For first-time parents having a new baby in the family can be challenging, they may feel that they are no longer at the forefront of their partner’s mind and this situation can make them feel sidelined.

What To Do To Keep Your Relationship Strong? (4 Approachable Helpful Tips)

husband and wife
We don’t believe this news that the birth of a baby may cause a kind of tension in the once blossoming relationship enjoyed by couples before the arrival of their baby. You make your relationship stronger like before and Here are lists of what you can do:

1.Having A Positive Approach:

That procreation is one of the gifts of marriage you should understand and every couple would want to carry their child, so you should know that there’s no gift that doesn’t come with a price. 

You should try not to let your baby get in between both of you two. Remember, both of you were crazy about the baby, and there’s no reason either of you should get hurt because of it.

With this in mind, to ensure that neither of you is sidelined by the assumed new responsibility so you both will decide on the best method to use. Both couples understand that parenting should be a joint task if they will do it this way, they will be successful.

2.A Good Sense Of Humor:

Humor can be a good solution in a tense circumstance, at least to placate the angry or tense partner and to get the situation under control, because if both members are angry at the same time, then it may cause a problem and further aid the rift.

3.Show Understanding:

A man/husband should understand that his wife’s attention is divided among herself, her husband, and her baby.

First of all, if you’re not ready to try to communicate with him about what’s going on so he doesn’t think the lack of intimacy is their fault or that it’s going to be like this forever, Of course, you don’t want to rush into having sex with your partner.

4.Communication:

If you want your ship to continue sailing so this is the key to any relationship, you should be able to have unbiased conversation devoid of blame or criticism and with the intent of getting the family to status quo.

She said, “there’s no doubt that money is a huge stressor for new parents”, according to Peterson. She stated that new parents, who may be new homeowners or thinking about buying a house, are often overwhelmed by finances.

Also, she advises parents to take a step back and communicate frankly about what they want for the family or themselves and Of course “You’re not going to take out your sadness about money on your baby, so you lash out at your partner.”

She says, “there are a plethora of solutions to financial problems because often there’s a partner who would want to stay at home for a year instead of working but is afraid of the cost.”

One recommendation is to try living on one salary for six months when you and your partner are both working and open a separate account for the money you two are saving.

The Bottom Line

We believe this article has given an overall discussion to answer the question of why do husbands change after having a baby.

It is a gradual process and also crucial to know that the changes are not sudden and to reignite the spark and save your marriage, wife and husband need to go back to the drawing board so that your relationship/marriage can still be as blissful as before.